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Message Text

1 Corinthians 13:1-3

If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.

Message Notes

1. The threshold for love is not that you think you are giving it, it’s when the person you’re giving it to understands it.

It is not what you say, it is what they hear that matters.

Paul explains in 1 Corinthian 13:4-8 what love should actually look like.

God loved us in a way that we could comprehend. John 3:16

2. Talking louder and faster in the same language is stupid.

One of the most frustrating things is the desire to say something to someone and think you are communicating it well only to find out they never understood it.

A great marriage will require you to be student of your spouse. We have a tendency to study each other while we are dating and then consider the marriage as passing the test. This is a life-long commitment to study each other.

3. They key to all the other tools in marriage is communicating love the way the other person understands it.

You cannot move on to another tool unless you get this one right.

How will you ever lovingly communicate a disagreement when you can’t effectively communicate love?

Everything is built on the foundation of you being able to communicate love to each other.

Connect Group Discussion Questions

  1. Have you ever thought you were communicating well only to find out the other person did not understand you?
  2. What are your thoughts on this statement, “The burden of understanding is on the person communicating”?
  3. Have you ever considered that communicating love well depends on you consistently studying your spouse?
  4. Have you ever thought about the fact that God expressed His love to us in a way that we could comprehend it? John 3:16
  5. What are some other areas of a marriage relationship that can be complicated by bad communication of love?