1 Corinthians 7:8-9
Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do. But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.
There is a difference between singleness as a circumstance and living a life of celibacy. God did create male and female and gave them the directive to be fruitful and multiply. This was God’s design for humankind. With that said, there are all kinds of circumstances that a person could be single. Difficulty finding a spouse, finances, death of a spouse, medical reasons, etc. These circumstances do not in any way indicate that a person is less than someone who is married. Their circumstances are different.
I believe to live a single, celibate life is a calling from God. This is not something to be taken lightly.
1 Corinthians 7:8-9
Paul wrestles with the idea of staying single. He makes sure to let the reader know that marriage is not wrong but if you are able to control yourself and focus your life on the purpose God has laid out for you then be content staying single. This is not the picture the world is painting of singleness. The worldly definition of singleness is getting all the benefits of a relationship without the responsibility. I can have friends with benefits and but do whatever I want without a commitment. A biblical single life is one of celibacy and dedication to God’s will for your life.
Proverbs 13:20 Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm.
1 Corinthians 15:33
Proverbs 14:7 Stay away from a fool, for you will not find knowledge on their lips.
Psalm 1:1 Blessed is the one who does not walk in step with the wicked or stand in the way that sinners take or sit in the company of mockers,
Proverbs 12:26 The righteous choose their friends carefully, but the way of the wicked leads them astray.
Show me your friends and I’ll show you your future.
You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.
These are not the people you are called to these are the people reinforcing your calling.
Your current circumstance could be staying the way it is because of the community you are associating with. Looking for love in all the wrong places.
Proverbs 27:17 As iron sharpens iron,
Proverbs 19:20 Listen to advice and accept discipline, and at the end you will be counted among the wise.
Psalm 141:5 Let a righteous man strike me—that is a kindness; let him rebuke me—that is oil on my head. My head will not refuse it,
Who do you have in your life that you are letting speak directly into it?
Not just people in your circumstance.
Do not make being single the prerequisite to take advice from someone else.
We don’t take financial advice from people who can’t manage money.
We don’t take relationship advice from people who can’t manage a relationship.
We don’t take career advice from people who can’t manage a job.
Find people who have accomplished what you want to do and let them speak into your life even if it is uncomfortable.
Oswald Chambers on “The Spiritual Readiness of the Call”
“God did not direct His call to Isaiah— Isaiah overheard God saying, “. . . who will go for Us?” The call of God is not just for a select few but for everyone. Whether I hear God’s call or not depends on the condition of my ears, and exactly what I hear depends upon my spiritual attitude.”
Philippians 3:12-14 12 Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. 13 Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14 I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.
Having an intimate relationship with God means realizing that abundant life will never be found in another person.
The single life whether circumstantial or permanent is still a life that flourishes in the will of God. The abundant life Jesus came to give us is not found just in the joining of two lives together but in obeying the call of God as individuals. As we submit our wills to His, we experience a peace and joy that we then can introduce into a relationship. It was never designed to work the opposite way. God was is and always will be enough for us. We are made complete in Him. When we submit to his will we then see, hear and experience life differently. We are led by the spirit. The truth is you will be the best single person fulfilling the call of God on your life and you will be the best married person following the call of God on your life. It is what makes you whole in both circumstances.